Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missoura!

The annual "Hey, professors, you're really really old now, so don't think you can pretend to be "cool" and "groovy" with the "young people" Beloit College "mindset list" has come out. Time to count the grey whiskers in your beard!

Some selections:

To members of the class of 2012 (the new frosh arriving on campus next week:
Sammy Davis Jr., Jim Henson, Ryan White, Stevie Ray Vaughan, and Freddy Krueger have always been dead.

Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.

Martha Stewart Living has always been setting the style.

The Warsaw Pact is as hazy for them as the League of Nations was for their parents.

Students have always been "Rocking the Vote."

Clarence Thomas has always sat on the Supreme Court.

We have always known that "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten."

There have always been gay rabbis.

Wayne Newton has never had a mustache.

College grads have always been able to Teach for America.

IBM has never made typewriters.

There has always been Pearl Jam.

The Tonight Show has always had Jay Leno as its host and started at 11:35 p.m. Eastern time.

Lenin's name has never been on a major city in Russia.

There have always been charter schools.